Is this me?

Life is a sine curve with highs and lows
Along with the chalice of elixir comes the cup of woes
What we do not expect we slowly learn to accept
And that we desired is undone by some worldly precept

My life has come to such unfamiliar bend
Superficial is what I feel as joys come to an end
As the popular euphemism go, just a passing phase
I disagree, this time the rot is at the base

The building blocks are weak as never before
the peripherals not the only ones, the virus is at the core
What defined me as a man, even before an officer
are things of past, by the minute I slip further and farther

The dreams of glory are now but a dream
to command a ship and become the country's cream
Neither the destroyer nor the frigate
now I am part of the dirty-job brigade

Working for the shallow, little satisfaction it proffers
while they never ride a car without a chauffer
They fill up unabashedly their unending coffers
for a jaunt across the town they seek a chopper

Unnerving at first, soon i was used to it
Slowly like a tempting sin, i was seduced bit by bit
My counter arguments- this was my sacrifice for greater good
were merely an excuse as i was colluding, albeit with a hood

The vortex that is self sustaining like a black hole
it survives on evil, its sustenance on men's souls
Reduced to a mere spectator, as i watch myself transform
the good dying painfully, my conscience cries lovelorn

myopic is what i have become, seeking gratification
ephemeral happiness, turning blind eye to ramifications
I am evil incarnate, a soul that's sans one now
Means are inconsequential to me, want to win anyhow